The following is an excerpt from
former FDU student Jonathan Avella’s first novel, “First Light.” The book is loosely based on his
experiences at the College at Florham.

I gathered up my bump and put it into the tin foil. I cracked another beer and stood in the doorway looking back at Jesse, my one-time best friend. He tossed some paper towels at me.
“And wipe your nose. You look like s—.”

I wanted to attack him. I chose to leave instead. I walked down the hallway and heard the door shut behind me. I walked down the stairs and lit a cigarette. I walked through the lobby and over to the other side of the MAC. I walked down the hallway and out to the stairwell. I hopped down the whole flight of stairs and walked outside. The rain had let up a bit, but it was still coming down pretty hard. I hung a left out of the MAC and began to climb the stairs that led up to the fountain where Amber and I had gone on my birthday. They were gigantic and looked as though they led right up into the sky.

After a couple of cigarette and beer breaks I was at the top of the stairs. I left the path and began walking in the grass that led to the fountain. I looked up at the light behind it and squinted to block it’s glow. The fountain was overflowing with water because of the downpour. I wanted to jump into it and go to sleep, for good. I kneeled down in the mud and looked at my reflection in the water. There was dry blood caked under my nose. The dark circles under my eyes looked as though they had swallowed my pupils. My goatee was scraggly and there were hairs sticking out in every direction. A raindrop sailed into the pool and broke my reflection up. Fractures of my face floated off in every direction.

I stood back up and walked over to the ledge that overlooked the campus. I sat on it and let my legs dangle down. I could float over the edge and never feel this pain again. It would be fast and over before I knew it. I could rip a pumper and feel almost no pain at all. I finished another beer and dropped it over the ledge. It bumped the brick wall a couple of times on it’s way down before landing on a bed of rocks.